Don’t Sell Haaland Until You Read This

📅 Gameweek 29 Deadline:
Tuesday, 3 March — 18:00 GMT
Set the alarm. Set a backup alarm.
And maybe a backup for the backup. ⏳

🛑 Suspended for GW29
No “maybe”, no press conference drama — these guys are OUT:

• Neto
• Lacroix
• Romero
• Potts

Zero points. Zero hope. Move on.

⚠️ One Yellow Away From Suspension (9 Yellows)
Living on the edge:
• Andre
• Mosquera
• Dunk

One mistimed tackle and you’ll be rage-tweeting next week. 🟨😅

🏥 Injury Ward (It’s Crowded)

Grab a coffee. This is where it gets spicy.

Odegaard – Missed the Chelsea game (knee). Monitor closely.

Rice – Knock.
Arteta said: “We’ll have to wait and see.”
Ah yes. The classic. Translation: We know nothing. 🤝

Evanilson – Came on vs Sunderland… then subbed off in the 86th with a knock.
Iraola: “We’ll see if he can be available.”
Very reassuring. 😅

Janelt – Metatarsal injury vs Brighton. Likely out.

Wilson – Ankle issue vs Spurs. Doubtful vs West Ham.

Andersen – Missed Spurs due to illness. Keep an eye on updates.

Rodon – Hamstring problem. Doubtful.

Haaland – Missed Leeds with a knock.
Pep “unsure” about Forest.
Which means we’re all about to overanalyse one training photo. 📸

O’Reilly – Ankle issue after being subbed vs Leeds. Doubtful.

Shaw & Maguire – Both subbed off with illness.🤦‍♂️

And that’s the landscape heading into GW29.
Suspensions. Flags. Yellow card tightropes. Pep mind games.

If your team isn’t slightly on fire right now… are you even playing FPL? 🔥

Now that we’ve handled the chaos, let’s talk about the fun part — transfers, captaincy, and the moves that could actually win you this Gameweek. 😉

🟡 Rice
Flagged. In my team. Probably in yours too.

Arteta said: “We’ll have to wait and see.”
Translation: “I know. You don’t.”

Normally, I’d say hold for a week and reassess. But here’s the problem:
• He blanks in GW31.
• Midfield options are STACKED.
• Our teams look like a hospital ward. 🚑

Verdict: Sell… but wait for the press conference. No need to be the early martyr.

🟡 Wilson
Also flagged. But different story.

If Wilson doesn’t start, he probably isn’t in the squad at all. That clarity? We like that.

Plus… BUR (H) in BGW31. That’s tasty. 🍗

Verdict: Keep & start.

💡 Dango & Schade
Your shiny Rice replacements.

• Want cheaper? 👉 Dango
• Want spicy differential vibes? 👉 Schade

Choose your fighter. 🥊

🔥 Szoboszlai
Now we’re talking.

Wirtz out = Szobo back in midfield.
Nailed minutes.
On set pieces.

What’s not to like? This might be the sensible move… which makes me suspicious already. 😅

🎲 Rayan
Cheap. Differential. Tempting.

But…
• Next 2 fixtures = decent
• After that? Meh.
• MUN (H) in BGW31? Not screaming points.

And Bournemouth’s attack rotates like a carousel. 🎠

🚫 Salah
Yes, I’ve seen it.
“If Haaland is out, is Salah an option?”

Fixtures? Good.
Form? …We don’t talk about it.

Highest return since AFCON: 6.
Last goal? GW10.

If you want to punt purely on vibes, I won’t stop you. But I’m not joining that rollercoaster. 🎢

🤔 Rogers
Owners are frustrated. I get it.

But during a packed schedule, nailed players are gold. Pure gold. 🪙

Sell? Justifiable.
Keep? Also justifiable.

This one depends entirely on your team chaos level.

👑 Haaland
Controversial take: Not a sell.

• Injury not serious.
• Potential GW30 captain.
• GW31 blank likely… but not confirmed.

There’s breathing space between GW29 and GW30.

Verdict: Hold for now. Reassess later. And wait for Pep’s press conference… if you dare. 😈

🚀 Ekitike
Monster haul in GW28.

But if it’s between Ekitike and Thiago?
I’m choosing Thiago.

Why? Penalties. Security. Fewer random bench nightmares.

Ekitike benching trauma is real. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

🐺 Raul
Yes, another early sub. Classic.

But he starts.
He’s on pens.
He has BUR (H) in BGW31.

Still very playable.

💰 Calvert-Lewin
Cheap.
On penalties.
Fixtures decent enough.

The budget enabler whispering sweet nothings to your team value.

That’s your transfer battlefield mapped out. 🗺️

But wait till you see who I’m captaining… 👀
And the differential section? Spicy. 🌶️
And my Team Reveal? Pure cinema. 🎬

Scroll on. Your rank might depend on it.

Let’s break it down.

Let me say it clearly: He’s my No.1 captain.

Why?

Rotation season is coming. European games. Squad juggling. Pep spinning his roulette wheel at 3am. 🎰

Bruno?
This man doesn’t rotate. He is the rotation-proof setting.

And the opponent?
Newcastle have conceded 13 goals in their last 5 matches.
Six in their last two at home.

They’re basically hosting goal festivals at this point. 🎉

No rotation risk.
Leaky opponent.
On penalties.
Plays 90 minutes even if he has to crawl.

If you’re asking me for the “safe but explosive” pick — this is it.

Wolves (A).

Wolves have:
• 3rd worst defence overall
• Worst home defence in the league

That’s not a defence. That’s an invitation. 📩

Now, Ekitike is chaos.
Some weeks: invisible.
Other weeks: 15-point nuclear explosion. 💥

But when he returns… he RETURNS big.

If you’re chasing rank or you just enjoy living dangerously, this could be your moment.

Form? Red hot.
Consistency? Chef’s kiss. 👨‍🍳

Plays at home.
Facing one of the league’s softest defences.

Everything screams “captain me.”

But…

City’s schedule is packed.
And Pep roulette? Always loaded. 🎰

No one is safe. Not even your sanity.

If he starts, it’s a beauty.
If he doesn’t… we cry together.

So… What’s The Play?

If you want security with upside → Bruno.
If you want ceiling and chaos → Ekitike.
If you want form + vibes (and mild anxiety) → Semenyo.

Choose your weapon carefully. 🗡️

It started like a horror movie. 👻
Haaland (C) = 0 minutes.
Me = staring at the screen questioning life choices.

But then… plot twist. 🎥

Vice-captain hauls.
Timber casually strolls in from the bench with an 8-pointer like he planned it all along.

Final score?
83 points.
Rank? Back inside the Top 20K 💚

From despair to green arrows. We love this game. We also hate this game. Mostly love.

Once the confetti settled and I actually looked at my squad…

FOUR flagged players staring back at me.

Not ideal. Not cute.

After deep reflection (and mild overthinking at 1am), here’s where I stand:

❌ Haaland? Not selling.
🟢 Wilson? Definitely keeping.
🪓 Rice? Thank you for your service. It’s time.

Now here’s the real dilemma…

I’m maxed out on Brentford players, so no Dango. No Schade. The door is shut. 🚪

Which leaves me with two final contenders:

⚡ Szoboszlai
or
🔥 Mbeumo

Right now? I’m leaning slightly towards Mbeumo.
But this is FPL. My mind could change 17 times before the deadline.

Stay tuned. 👀

The armband goes to Bruno Fernandes.

No hesitation. No drama. (Hopefully.)