GW15 Review: Salah Exploded Off The Pitch. Bruno & Foden Exploded On It.

🧤 Emi Martinez: From Back Pain to Back Between the Posts
Emi saw the physio table… said “nah.”
Straight back into the XI vs Arsenal after missing Brighton with a back issue.

🛑 Saliba: Still Missing in Action
Arsenal’s defensive Rolls Royce? Still in the garage.
Didn’t make it for the Villa game — Arteta keeping his cards close, and FPL managers keeping their tears closer 😭.

💥 Liam Delap: Shoulder Injury
Subbed off at 32 minutes vs Bournemouth.
Maresca: “We don’t know how long… but it looks quite bad.”

😬 Marcos Senesi: Cramp or Crisis?
Came off in the 62nd minute vs Chelsea.
Iraola says it might just be cramps… “Senesi felt cramps. He didn’t feel anything specific and I have some hope. We’ll probably have to do an MRI to see if there is a small injury”, said Iraola.

🚫 Daniel Muñoz: Vanished From the Squad
Not even on the bench vs Fulham.
BUT — Glasner is hopeful he’ll return for Man City.
(You know you’re important when your manager says “hopeful” before facing Haaland 😅)

📌 Foden Is Now Essential. Yes, Essential.
Phil Foden isn’t just “in form”… he’s currently being adopted faster than stray kittens.
811,817 managers (so far) have already bought him, his price is now £8.6m, and it’s climbing like he’s Bitcoin in 2017.
I normally preach “no early transfers”…
But this time?
Nah, bring him in. Immediately. 🚀

📌 Cole Palmer Minutes Are in Bubble Wrap 🛑🤕
Palmer has returned…
But his minutes are being treated like premium Wagyu beef—carefully, slowly, and expensively.
He wasn’t even in the UCL squad vs Atalanta.
Translation:
Expect managed minutes. Expect pain.

📌 Mateta Owners… It’s Time 😬🔪
4 blanks in his last 5.
Only two full 90s.
And now he plays Man City.
It’s giving “please sell me, bro” energy.
Probably time to let the big man go.

📌 Dewsbury-Hall Is the Enabler You Shouldn’t Ignore 💸✨
KDH out here delivering quiet value like a discount Amazon Prime.
Next two fixtures aren’t ideal, but:
Minutes? Secured.
DefCon points? 3 in his last 5.
Price? Beautiful.
The man is cooking, even if the fixtures aren’t Michelin-star.

📌 Raúl Jiménez: Actually a Real Option 😳🔥
Burnley (A), Forest (H), West Ham (A)…
That’s basically three gift-wrapped opportunities.
Muniz is still out, meaning Jiménez should be nailed.

📌 Stach at £4.8m Is Starting to Look Irritatingly Good ⚡💰
3 attacking returns in his last 2.
4 in his last 5.
Longstaff out = minutes secured.
A budget beast might be emerging right under our noses…
and for £4.8m, he’s practically paying you to own him.

Pep & Rotations: A Plot Twist?? 🤯
Contrary to everything we know about Pep (and basic human behaviour), he didn’t rotate against Sunderland.
One single change: Cherki in. That’s it.
No chaos. No 8-man roulette.
Pep being Pep… by not being Pep. 🧠💫

Salah vs Slot: The Drama We Didn’t Order 🍿🔥
Salah was benched for the third match in a row — and unlike last time, he had a LOT to get off his chest - “I’m sitting on the bench, I don’t know why. I think it’s very clear someone wants me to take all the blame. I’m very disappointed… I have done so much for this club. I don’t think I’m the problem.”
Arne Slot replied with the energy of a man who found a snake in his suitcase - “Usually I am calm and polite but it does NOT mean I'm weak. When a player says things like that, we have to react as a club”....... “And you can see he is NOT here (excluded from the squad against Inter).”
Ladies and gentlemen, we officially have Premier League telenovela energy. 📺💔

Cherki’s Rabona Assist: Pep Loved It… Kinda 😅
Cherki pulled off a filthy rabona assist and Pep applauded it… before reminding him he’s not a YouTuber freestyle footballer.
Pep actually dropped the Messi line:
“The biggest quality of Messi is the simplicity.”
Translation: “Stop doing circus tricks, Rayan.” 🎪⚽

Bournemouth: A Sad Story in One Line 😭🍒
Bournemouth haven’t won any of their last six league games.
That’s it. That’s the stat.
Send thoughts and prayers. 🤲🍒

Spurs vs Brentford 🫢
Spurs recorded:
➡️ Their most shots on target this season (7)
➡️ And fewest shots conceded this season (4)

Fulham: The Downward Spiral 📉
Another defeat means Fulham have now lost 7 of their last 10.
That’s relegation form… just with nicer kits. 🫣⚪⚫

United’s Shot-Fest at Wolves 🎯
United unleashed 27 shots vs Wolves — the most under Amorim in the Premier League.

I finished GW15 on 57 points — not exactly fireworks, but trust me… it could’ve been a full-blown disaster movie. 🎬🔥

The gameweek started like a horror film. I was sitting on 26 points with only Guehi, Mateta, Bruno, and Minteh left. At that point, I was seriously questioning life, football, and why on earth I didn’t take the hit for Foden. 😭💭

And then the suffering went up a level:

I was mentally preparing my speech for accepting a massive red arrow, when suddenly… the script flipped. 🎬✨
Guehi popped up with a late goal like he remembered he was in my FPL team 🤝💛

But the REAL plot twist?

Bruno Fernandes turned into peak prime everything.
2 goals, 1 assist, 3 bonus = 18 beautiful, gameweek-saving points.

End result?
4th consecutive green arrow and a rank climb from 110.5K → 100.6K.
I can smell that top 100K now… it’s close… dangerously close… 😤🚀