GW16 SCOREBOARD: THE CHAOS REPORT
THE MEDICAL ROOM MADNESS
If GW16 had a bonus point system for physios, they’d all be on triple digits by now. Stretchers were busy, ice packs were flying, and FPL managers everywhere were whispering the same words: “Please don’t be serious.”
Here’s your injury roundup — served with pain, panic, and a pinch of dark humour 👇
🩹 Dewsbury-Hall (Hamstring)
Lasted just 16 minutes vs Chelsea before his hamstring waved the white flag. 🏳️
Moyes: “I'll find out later what it is. He had a bit of tightness already [in his hamstring], and then he felt it during the game.”
🧊 Jack Grealish (Hamstring… again)
KDH wasn’t the only Everton player sacrificing a hamstring this week.
Grealish followed him to the treatment table, coming off in the 84th minute. The good news? It looked less serious.
Moyes summed it up: “Jack felt his hamstring, so we just need to be careful with these boys.”
🚑 Joe Gomez (Muscle Injury)
Off after 32 minutes against Brighton.
Slot’s verdict: “I would not expect him next week… but sometimes you get a positive surprise.”
🦶 Szoboszlai (Ankle Issue)
Came off late (83rd minute) but didn’t look comfortable.
Slot: “I would not expect him to be in the squad next week, but sometimes you get a positive surprise.”
😮💨 Ekitike (Cramp… probably)
Subbed in the 78th minute, barely able to walk.
Slot thinks it was just cramp — the least evil injury in this list.
“I think he hardly couldn’t walk anymore because of cramp”, said Slot.
Owners everywhere: We’ll take it. Please just be cramp.
🧵 Ben White (Hamstring)
Off after 31 minutes vs Wolves — and the bad news didn’t stop there.
Reports suggest he’s out for around a month.
❌ Doku (Leg Injury)
Didn’t even make the City squad against Palace.
No minutes. No warning. Just pain.
🩻 Kamada (Muscle Injury)
Picked up a muscle issue vs City.
Glasner confirmed the bad news: “We will miss him for a few weeks.”
🏥 Dan Burn (Rib Fracture)
Taken straight to hospital after a brutal collision with Sunderland defender Nordi Mukiele.
Fractured rib and lung damage. Could be out for up to 6 weeks. 😵
Howe: “That was a big blow for us.”
For Newcastle… and for anyone relying on him as a steady starter.
🛡️ William Saliba 🔙
A rare sight in GW16: good injury news.
Saliba returned against Wolves, started, and played the full 90.
BUT
Arteta said he took a risk playing him. His exact words: "We had even to risk Saliba today, because probably it wasn’t the best call to play 90 minutes…..but we don’t have anybody else." 🤷♂️
Don’t blink — the injury list was just the warm-up act to this FPL circus 🎪😵
GW16 HEROES: THE ONES YOU WISH YOU CAPTAINED
GW16 REALITY CHECK: WHAT WE LEARNED
GW16 didn’t just hand out points — it handed out humbling lessons, some tougher than others.
Let’s unpack the biggest takeaways 👇
👑 Haaland vs “The Perfect Fixture”
If GW16 taught us one thing, it’s this: you cannot outsmart Haaland.
Crystal Palace had conceded just one goal per home game before City visited. Saka, meanwhile, faced the worst defence in the league.
Outcome? Haaland still outscored Saka by 2 points.
Yes, he can blank. No, you’ll never predict when. Captaincy debates remain a trap 😭🤖
🧱 Man City Are Back Defensively (Arsenal… not so much)
City have now kept back-to-back clean sheets after shipping 8 goals in 5 games before that. A quiet but important turnaround.
Arsenal, on the other hand, have managed just 1 clean sheet in their last 6. Injuries have taken their toll — and it shows every single week 📉
🔥 Harry Wilson: Differential? Not Anymore.
42 points in 4 matches.
16 points in GW16 alone.
A certified differential monster… until everyone noticed. He’s already the most transferred-in player for GW17, so if you missed him last week — yeah, that window’s closed 🚪😬
📈 Foden Price Rise PTSD
The price-rise madness felt illegal. Borderline unhinged.
But Foden backed it up with yet another double-digit haul, delivering with DefCon activated 🧠
He’s 8.8m now, and honestly… don’t be shocked if that number keeps climbing.
🧨 Ekitike: The Problem That Won’t Go Away
He’s outperformed Isak by a clear margin, looks electric, and now has very tasty fixtures coming up.
Ignoring him is getting harder by the week — and another price rise feels inevitable.
(Full fitness update coming in the GW17 Preview, don’t miss it 👀)
⏱️ Palmer: Points Yes, Minutes No
Yes, he’s scored his first goal since his return.
But he still hasn’t completed 60 minutes in a match since his return.
Maresca is handling him like fine china — carefully, slowly, and without rushing anything. Great asset… with an asterisk ⚠️
🤷♂️ Mateta: Be Honest With Yourself
Another blank. Another early sub.
Just one attacking return in his last 6.
If you still own him, ask yourself why.
Leeds (A) in GW17? Fair.
Anything else? You might be negotiating with yourself at this point 😅
THINGS YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING
🔥 Slot, Salah & The Awkward Sub Plot
Arne Slot was forced to bring Salah on in the 26th minute against Brighton — cue the cameras zooming in.
Post-match, Slot tried to shut it down quickly: “For me, there's no issue to resolve. For me, he's now the same as any other player.”
👑 Salah Breaks Another Record
That assist vs Brighton wasn’t “just another return”.
It took Salah to 277 Premier League goal involvements for Liverpool, officially making him the most productive player ever for a single club — overtaking Rooney’s 276 at United.
🤯 Pep Does Pep Things (Again)
City’s 3–0 win over Palace wasn’t just another routine victory.
It gave Guardiola a new record: the fastest manager ever to reach 150 wins with 3 or more goals scored, doing it in 358 matches.
Sir Alex needed 522.
Different eras, same conclusion: Pep is not normal 🤖⚽
🐺 Wolves’ Never-Ending Slide
The loss to Arsenal marked 9 straight league defeats for Wolves.
Nine. In a row.
At this point, it’s less “bad form” and more “historical consistency” 😬📉
👉 Stick around — it’s time for my GW16 score reveal
MY GW16 POINTS: THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY
Spoiler alert: this went much better than expected.
Still, because this is FPL… regrets were unavoidable 😌
I finished GW16 on 92 points — my highest score of the season so far. Genuinely did not see that coming.
Against most advice (good advice, by the way), I burned all 5 free transfers. Reckless? Maybe.
Rewarding? Absolutely 😎🔥
The midfield was an absolute joy to watch — returns everywhere (sorry, Minteh 🙃).
The defence, on the other hand, clearly didn’t get the memo.
End result? My 5th green arrow in a row, with rank jumping from 100,608 → 47,896 📈🚀
But let’s be real — FPL never lets you enjoy things fully.
😩 Regret #1: The Captaincy “What If”
I backed Saka. He was fine.
Haaland, however, was more than fine.
That decision alone cost me 4 points, which my brain has already replayed 47 times 🧠🔁
🪑 Regret #2: The Bench of Shame
Please take a moment to appreciate my bench.
20 points.
Just sitting there.
Mocking me.
Mukiele alone outscored Timber + Hincapié combined — against the worst attack in the league.
FPL heritage 🫡😭
Still, 92 points, a strong green arrow, and momentum heading into GW17 — I’ll take that every day of the week 💪
Now let’s see if I can follow it up… or immediately undo all this hard work.
That’s a wrap on GW16 🎬
Thanks for riding the chaos with me — next up: GW17 Review & tips, where we celebrate heroes, expose traps, and overreact… professionally 😎📊
See you soon… Green or red, the cycle continues ⚡