🚨 Midweek Mayhem Alert: Your GW14 Survival Guide 🛟

📅 Gameweek 14 Deadline:
Tuesday, 2 December — 18:00 GMT
Yes, it’s a midweek deadline. It might catch at least 40% of your mini-league rivals sleeping. Not you though… hopefully. 😭⏰

🚫 Suspensions Incoming (Hide your Bournemouth players):
Brooks (BOU): GW14
Cook (BOU): GW14, 15 & 16
Senesi (BOU): GW14
Gueye (EVE): GW14 & 15
Caicedo (CHE): GW14, 15 & 16

👀 Salah (The BIG Headline):
Benched vs West Ham and never came on. 🤦‍♂️

🩺 Injury Chaos (A Weekly Tradition):
Sarr:
Subbed off after 38 minutes with an ankle issue. Glasner: “Maybe we won’t see him again before AFCON.”
Translation: 🔥🚨 Red-flag energy.

Thiago:
“Not really, just spoke to him after and he said it was precautionary. So I’ll sus it out when I go back in”, said Keith Anderson on Thiago. 🎤

Nick Pope:
Missed GW13 with a training injury. “He is due to have a scan in the next few days to gather the extent of his injury”, said Eddie Howe. 😪

Saliba:
Got a knock in training. Arteta said tests on Monday will reveal more — Arsenal fans currently in prayer mode. 🙏

🟨 Senesi:
Picked up his 5th yellow. Suspended.

😬 Calafiori:
Hooked at half-time vs Chelsea. Monitor closely. 👓

📝 Important Reminder — FREE TRANSFER BOOST 💥
Because of AFCON absences, your free transfers will jump to a max of FIVE in Gameweek 16.
That means:
Use all FT by GW15

🔄 Sarr Replacements — Pick Your Fighter:
🧨 Bruno (Upgrade Option): Expensive? Yes. Worth it? Also yes.
He’s blanked just once in six, has great fixtures, is on pens, and is so nailed he might as well be part of the stadium infrastructure.
Oh, and he carries DefCon upside too.
Elite pick if your bank balance isn’t crying. 💰
🎨 Foden (Upgrade Option #2): Starts every game, electric fixtures, Pep’s golden child at the moment.
BUT… Real Madrid is lurking in the Champions League, so don’t be shocked if Pep tucks him in for an early bedtime in an easier PL match. 😴⚠️
⚡ Minteh (Like-for-Like): Cheaper than Sarr, plays every game, scoring 6.2 points per match over the last five.
Solid, reliable, no drama.
Your safe-but-good choice. ✔️
💥 Szoboszlai (Differential Danger): Great fixtures, starts every game, capable of big hauls, almost no ownership…
BUT: he’s one yellow away from suspension.
🛡️ Anderson (The Budget Beast): If Sarr’s injury has you hunting value — this is your guy.
His lowest defensive contribution score this season is TEN. TEN!!
Nailed minutes, nailed returns… a DefCon cheat code. 🔒💪
Honourable Mentions: Enzo, Bruno G., Gakpo.
Avoid: Eze.

🚫 Senesi Replacements:
🧱 Malick Thiaw: Two home fixtures next: Spurs & Burnley.
Newcastle are decent defensively at home, and he’s delivered DefCon points in 4/9 starts.
Safe, stable, sensible. 🔵
🎯 Richards: Fixtures look great… but rotation is a concern.
10.3 DefCons per 90 though.
If you enjoy living dangerously, step right in. 🧨
🏰 Andersen (GW15 Onwards): If you can bench Senesi for GW14, this could be a decent pick.
After Man City, he gets: Palace (H), Burnley (A), Forest (H), West Ham (H).
And he boasts 11.52 DefCons per 90.
🛞 O’Reilly: Nice fixtures, Pep trusts him, attacking threat…
BUT minutes during busy periods can be sketchy.
Much safer after Aït-Nouri leaves for AFCON. 🟩✈️
🔧 Van Hecke: Cheap, good fixtures, and sneaky high in DefCon rankings (13th).
A tidy little gem. 💎
Honourable Mentions: Van den Berg (from GW16), Chalobah, Lacroix

🧤 The Pope Problem:
If you own Pope… my condolences.
No one wants to burn a transfer on a goalkeeper — it feels morally wrong.
Try surviving with your backup until GW15. After that, GW16 gives FIVE free transfers, making a GK swap much less painful.
If you must replace now: Verbruggen → Sels → Petrović (in that order).
Feeling fancy? Upgrade to Raya or Donnarumma (but note: he’s on 4 yellows). 😬

🔵 What To Do With Semenyo?
4 blanks and 1 missed in his last 5. 👎
So yeah… not a buy.
But if you already own him?
Relax. You probably have bigger fires to put out.
He plays Everton at home next and his minutes are incredibly secure — a gift in rotation chaos season.
Hold for now, reassess later. 🧘‍♂️

🔴 Thiago Injury?
Keith Andrews basically suggested it was precautionary — so no real panic.
But he faces Arsenal away next, which is where attacking returns go to die. ⚰️
Buying him?
Maybe wait for GW15.
One thing though:
All six of his goals are non-penalty goals.
Not just a penalty merchant! 😮🔥

🟣 Woltemade
Nice fixtures, good pick in isolation…
BUT Gordon is back, and Wissa has returned to training.
Minutes may tighten.
Proceed with caution. ⚠️

Yes, he blanked twice. Yes, it’s away.
But let’s be honest… captaining against Haaland is like leaving your phone at 2% and hoping for the best — brave, but dangerously stupid.

Fulham may be 15th, but at home they’ve conceded just 3 goals — second-best in the league (only Arsenal has a better home defensive record). Meanwhile, Haaland away from home? Not exactly Thanos-level inevitable.

Still… if he drops a brace at Craven Cottage, would you be surprised?
Exactly. ⚽⚽

Bruno is basically FPL’s Swiss Army knife:

He faces West Ham — the joint 2nd worst defense in the league — at home.
Low-ish ownership means he’s also your golden ticket to a rank boost if you love living on the edge. 🎢

Just remember: captaining Bruno means accepting emotional damage as part of the experience.

Let’s be honest:
Anyone facing Burnley is automatically in the captaincy chat.
It’s science. 🔬

Burnley (alongside West Ham) have the joint 2nd-worst defense, and Palace are expected to win.
BUT… before you tattoo the armband on Mateta:

He’s premium chocolate in a box full of mystery flavors — could be amazing, could ruin your week.

🌀 Important note: It’s a midweek Gameweek

Translation:
Managers rotate, players disappear, benches cry, and your sanity is tested.
Midweek fixtures are rotation carnivals, and that makes chip usage — especially Bench Boost — risky. 🎢

So unless your bench looks like a superhero lineup, maybe keep your chips tucked away for now.

BUT here’s where it gets interesting 👀👇

🧨 71 Points of Chaos & Redemption
I ended GW13 with 71 glorious Free Hit points — a whole +26 over what my sad, non–Free Hit team would've delivered. Got my rank up from 422.5K to 115.5K. 💪💪
Was it perfect? No.
Am I happy? Fairly.
It was the classic FPL experience: “I’ll take it, but please don’t ask follow-up questions.” 😭✨

🚀 The Heroes I Absolutely Didn’t Own Before
Thiago, Foden, Gakpo, Cash, Martinez — all walked into my Free Hit team like they owned the place and delivered beautifully.
None of them were in my main team.
None.
Pain? No. Growth? Yes. 🧘‍♂️
Meanwhile, my actual squad did offer Saka, Xhaka, VVD, and Mateta returns, which is cute… but still nowhere near enough to compete with the Free Hit Avengers.
And then there’s Bruno — the guy I would’ve bought if I hadn’t Free Hit.
He scored 11 points.
But even then my real team would've limped to 45 points, so Free Hit was absolutely the right call. Validation feels amazing. 😌💅

😬 The Regrets (Because What Is FPL Without Regret?)
I really should’ve gone Dango over Schade.
That tiny decision alone would've opened the door to picking Collins over Van den Berg.
Two small changes… one giant leap for my sanity.
And then came the heartbreak:
Salah no-show — the single biggest disappointment of the week.
Leaving Estève on the bench instead of Mukiele — the biggest rookie mistake.
Could’ve had 74 instead of 71. 😭😭

So… here I am with two flagged players — Senesi (suspended) and Sarr (injured) — and just one lonely Free Transfer staring back at me like:
“Good luck, mate.” 😭

The worst part?
I wasn’t even planning to sell either of them.
Both were locked into my XI.
Both betrayed me.
Both now sit in my FPL hospital ward. 🏥😔

My original plan was simple:
Enzo ➡️ Bruno
Life was good.
But then football happened, and suddenly my team looked like a clearance sale at the physio’s office.

After more overthinking than a university student choosing a major, I pulled the trigger:

👉 Sarr ➡️ Bruno

Senesi stays — not because I love him, but because I'm violently allergic to taking hits. 😤💸

So the plan for GW14 is a glorious 3-5-2:
Timber – Guehi – VVD
Saka – Enzo – Semenyo – Bruno – Xhaka
Haaland – Mateta

Do I like the fixtures?
Mostly, yes.
Except for Xhaka vs Liverpool… but I’m praying he channels his inner “DefCon demon” and gets me something. Anything. A tackle. A sneeze. I’ll take it. 🤲

Dúbravka vs Palace at home?
Expecting a clean sheet?
Absolutely not.
But expecting pain?
Absolutely yes. 🧤💀

Timber… Saka (maybe)… Mateta…
My whole team feels like a lottery draw at this point.

And my bench?
Mukiele away to Liverpool — confidence level: 0%.
Kroupi — minutes as unpredictable as British weather. 🌧️⛅🌪️

But hey, you work with what you have, right? 😅

I could have gone Sarr ➡️ Foden and Xhaka ➡️ Minteh…
But all of that required a hit, and hits are my sworn enemies.
They haunt me.
They whisper to me at night.
I refuse. 😤✋

So yes — Bruno is my only change for GW14.

And here’s the spicy bit…
I’m seriously considering captaining Bruno over Haaland.
Will I actually do it?
Will I chicken out at 17:59 GMT?
Will Haaland punish me for even thinking about this?

Find out in the next episode of:
“FPL Zone Makes Questionable Life Choices.” 📺✨